How to Write an Obituary for a Parent

A compassionate guide to writing a meaningful obituary that honors your parent's life and legacy. HowTo: Family Edition: family how-tos that actually help.

1. Gather Essential Information First. Start by collecting the basic facts you'll need: your parent's full name (including maiden name if applicable), age, date and place of birth, date and place of death, and immediate cause of death if you choose to include it. You'll also need names of surviving family members, predeceased family members, education details, career highlights, military service, and key life achievements. Having this information organized will make the writing process much easier.
2. Begin with the Basic Announcement. Start your obituary with a simple, clear statement: '[Full name] of [city], aged [age], passed away peacefully on [date] at [location].' You can include the cause of death if you wish, but this is completely optional. Some families prefer phrases like 'after a courageous battle with illness' or 'surrounded by loving family.' Choose language that feels right for your family's situation and comfort level.
3. Share Their Life Story. Write about your parent's life in chronological order or by themes that mattered to them. Include where they were born, grew up, went to school, and how they met your other parent. Mention their career, hobbies, volunteer work, faith, and what brought them joy. Focus on qualities that made them special - were they known for their humor, kindness, cooking, or dedication to family? Include specific examples that show their personality rather than just listing facts.
4. List Family Members Thoughtfully. Include immediate family members, starting with surviving spouse, then children (and their spouses), grandchildren, and siblings. You can list them by name or simply by number if the list is very long. Also mention important family members who died before your parent - this might include spouse, parents, siblings, or children. The phrase 'predeceased by' is commonly used. Be sensitive to family dynamics and stepchildren, half-siblings, or estranged relatives.
5. Include Service and Memorial Information. Provide clear details about funeral services, memorial services, or celebrations of life, including dates, times, and locations. Mention if services are private or open to the public. If you're having a memorial service at a later date, it's okay to say 'memorial service details will be announced.' Include information about visiting hours or viewings if applicable. Also mention if the family requests donations to a specific charity instead of flowers.
6. Review and Edit Carefully. Read through your draft several times, checking for spelling errors, especially in names and places. Verify all dates, ages, and factual information. Ask a close family member or friend to review it as well - they might catch errors or suggest meaningful additions. Most newspapers have word limits, so you may need to edit for length. Focus on keeping the most important and meaningful details while staying within space constraints.