How to Plan a Funeral in Advance: A Family Guide to Pre-Planning

Learn how to plan a funeral ahead of time to ease the burden on your family and ensure your wishes are honored. HowTo: Family Edition: family how-tos that actu…

  1. Start with Your Basic Preferences. Begin by deciding whether you want burial or cremation. Think about where you'd like the service held - a funeral home, place of worship, or somewhere meaningful to you. Consider whether you want a traditional funeral, memorial service, or celebration of life. Write down any specific requests for music, readings, or people you'd like to speak. Don't worry about getting everything perfect right away - you can always update your plans.
  2. Research and Visit Funeral Homes. Look for funeral homes in your area and schedule visits to compare services and prices. Ask about their general price lists, which they're required to provide by law. Tour the facilities and ask questions about their process, timeline, and what's included in different packages. Pay attention to how comfortable you feel with the staff - your family will be working with them during a difficult time.
  3. Consider Pre-Payment Options Carefully. You can plan without paying, or you can pre-pay to lock in current prices. If you choose to pre-pay, understand exactly what's covered and what isn't. Ask about refund policies if you move or change your mind. Consider whether the funeral home is established and likely to be in business long-term. Some people prefer to set aside money in a separate savings account rather than pre-paying directly.
  4. Document Everything Clearly. Write down all your preferences in detail, including your choice of funeral home, type of service, burial or cremation wishes, and any special requests. Include practical information like where your will is located and who should be contacted. Make multiple copies and give them to your spouse, adult children, or whoever will be handling arrangements. Store one copy with your important papers and consider giving one to your chosen funeral home.
  5. Plan for Cemetery Arrangements. If you choose burial, you'll need to select a cemetery and purchase a plot. Visit different cemeteries to see which feels right to you. Ask about ongoing maintenance fees and any restrictions on headstones or decorations. If you prefer cremation, decide whether you want your ashes buried, scattered, or kept by family members. Some locations require permits for scattering ashes.
  6. Involve Your Family in the Process. Have honest conversations with your loved ones about your plans. Let them know where you've documented everything and what your wishes are. This isn't always an easy conversation, but it's important for them to understand your choices ahead of time. Listen to their thoughts and concerns - they might have helpful suggestions or important questions you hadn't considered.
  7. Review and Update Regularly. Look over your plans every few years to make sure they still reflect your wishes. Update contact information, add new requests, or change details as needed. Let your family know about any updates you make. If you move to a different area, you may want to research local options and update your plans accordingly.