How to Handle Death at Home: A Family Guide

Learn the practical and emotional steps to take when a loved one dies at home, including who to call and how to support your family.

1. Immediate Steps to Take. First, take a moment to breathe and be present with your loved one if you feel comfortable doing so. If the death was expected and your loved one was under hospice care, call the hospice nurse first - they will guide you through the next steps. If the death was unexpected or sudden, call 911 immediately. Do not attempt CPR if you know the person had a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. If you're unsure about the circumstances or if the death seems unusual in any way, call emergency services. Keep important documents nearby, including any advance directives, DNR orders, and contact information for your doctor and funeral home.
2. Who to Contact and When. After calling hospice or emergency services, your next calls will depend on the situation. Contact your loved one's doctor to officially pronounce the death if hospice isn't involved. Call your chosen funeral home - they can usually come within a few hours and will handle transport of the body. Reach out to close family members and friends who should hear the news directly from you. Contact your loved one's employer if they were still working. You'll also need to notify their lawyer if they had one, and consider calling a trusted friend or family member to help you make other necessary calls. Don't feel pressured to notify everyone immediately - focus on the most important people first.
3. Supporting Children Through the Process. Children need honest, age-appropriate information about what's happening. Use clear, simple language and avoid euphemisms that might confuse them. Let them know that when someone dies, their body stops working and they can't breathe, eat, or feel pain anymore. Give children choices about their involvement - they might want to see the person who died, help with simple preparations, or prefer to stay with a trusted adult in another room. Answer their questions honestly and let them express their feelings however they need to. Some children might cry, others might seem unaffected, and some might ask the same questions repeatedly. All of these reactions are normal. Consider having a trusted adult available specifically to care for and support the children while you handle practical matters.
4. Caring for the Body Before Funeral Services. If your loved one was under hospice care, the hospice team will guide you through caring for the body. You're not required to rush - you can take time to sit with your loved one, say goodbye, or perform any religious or cultural rituals that are important to your family. The body can safely remain at home for several hours. You might want to gently close their eyes and mouth, straighten their limbs, and cover them with a clean sheet or favorite blanket. Remove any medical equipment like oxygen tubes if hospice or medical personnel haven't already done so. Keep the room cool if possible. When you're ready, the funeral home will come to transport the body with dignity and respect.
5. Managing Your Own Emotions and Needs. Grief affects everyone differently, and there's no right or wrong way to feel. You might experience relief (especially after a long illness), sadness, anger, confusion, or even numbness - all of these are normal. Accept help from others when offered, whether it's making phone calls, preparing food, or just sitting with you. Try to eat something and stay hydrated, even if you don't feel like it. If you have other family members at home, designate one person to handle phone calls so others can focus on grieving and supporting each other. Remember that you don't have to make all decisions immediately - most things can wait until tomorrow or later in the week.
6. Important Documents and Next Steps. Gather important documents you'll need in the coming days: death certificates (you'll need multiple copies), will and testament, insurance policies, Social Security information, bank account details, and any pre-planned funeral arrangements. The funeral director will help you obtain official death certificates, which you'll need for insurance claims, bank accounts, and other legal matters. Order more copies than you think you need - most institutions require original copies. If your loved one had pre-arranged their funeral or left specific wishes, try to honor these if possible. Don't feel pressured to make expensive decisions quickly - funeral homes should give you time to consider your options.