How to Support Your Child Through Big Feelings at School

Strategies for parents to help children navigate intense emotions and social stressors during the school day. HowTo: Family Edition: family how-tos that actually help.

  1. Creating a Foundation at Home. Many parents find that discussing emotions during calm moments helps children build the vocabulary they need to express themselves when they are overwhelmed. By labeling feelings like frustration, disappointment, or excitement at home, children learn to identify their internal states before they reach a point of escalation. Another approach involves role-playing different social scenarios. Practicing how to ask for a break, how to join a group activity, or how to advocate for a need can provide children with a mental script to use when they encounter these situations in the classroom.
  2. Collaborating with Teachers. Teachers are often the first to notice when a child is struggling with emotional regulation. Establishing an open line of communication—via email, a communication log, or parent-teacher conferences—allows for a consistent approach between home and school. Parents who share what works well at home, such as specific calming techniques or sensory preferences, often find that teachers can integrate these strategies into the school day. It is also helpful to ask the teacher about the classroom environment. Understanding how the school manages transitions, group work, or unstructured time can help parents tailor their support to the specific challenges the child might be facing.
  3. Processing the Day Together. After-school decompressing is a common practice for many families. Rather than asking direct questions immediately upon pickup, some parents find success in providing a quiet space or a neutral activity, like a snack or a walk, before inviting the child to share their day. This allows the child to shift out of 'school mode' and into a more regulated state. When a child does share a difficult experience, active listening—validating their feelings without immediately rushing to solve the problem—can help them feel heard and understood. This process reinforces the idea that all feelings are acceptable, even if certain behaviors at school may need to be addressed.