Supporting Children Through Moments of Anxiety

An overview of how parents can provide stability and validation when children experience anxiety, focusing on evidence-based strategies and professional support.

1. Validating the Experience. Many parents find that the first step in supporting an anxious child is validating their feelings without necessarily confirming their fears. By acknowledging the emotion—such as saying, 'I can see that you are feeling really nervous about the school play'—you signal that their internal experience is understood. This validation can lower the intensity of the child's reaction, as they no longer feel the need to escalate their behavior to be heard. It is often helpful to avoid dismissing the worry with phrases like 'there is nothing to be afraid of.' While intended to soothe, such statements may inadvertently make the child feel that their perception is wrong or that they are being misunderstood. Instead, parents might try to hold space for the feeling while remaining a steady, calm anchor.
2. Approaches to Building Resilience. Some families approach anxiety by gently encouraging 'bravery steps'—small, manageable exposures to the situations that cause worry. This is often done in collaboration with the child, breaking a large task into tiny, non-threatening pieces. For example, if a child is anxious about a social event, a small step might involve simply driving past the venue or saying hello to one familiar person before leaving. Another common approach is teaching regulation techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, to be used when the child feels overwhelmed. These tools are often most effective when practiced during calm moments, rather than introduced for the first time during an active period of distress.