Supporting Children Through Big Feelings

Learn how to help children navigate intense emotions by fostering self-advocacy and emotional regulation skills. HowTo: Family Edition: family how-tos that actually help.

1. Creating a Foundation of Validation. Many parents find that naming an emotion as it happens—often called 'labeling'—can help children begin to recognize their internal states. By simply stating 'I see that you are frustrated because your tower fell,' you provide a framework for the child to understand their experience without judgment. Validation does not mean agreeing with a child's behavior, but rather acknowledging the reality of their feelings. Parents who consistently use this approach often report that children feel more understood, which can reduce the intensity of the emotional reaction over time.
2. Encouraging Self-Advocacy. As children develop, they can learn to express what they need to manage their feelings. Some families introduce the idea of a 'calm-down corner' or specific sensory tools, allowing the child to choose how they want to reset. The goal is to shift the child from a reactive state to a reflective one. When children are encouraged to identify their own needs—such as needing space, a quiet activity, or a conversation—they build the capacity for self-advocacy. This helps them understand that emotions are temporary and that they have agency in how they respond to them.