How to Support Children Through Grief

Approaches for helping children navigate the complex emotions of loss while maintaining a supportive and open environment.

1. Creating a Foundation of Honesty. Many parents find that using clear, concrete language is the most helpful approach when explaining death. Euphemisms like 'went to sleep' or 'lost' can inadvertently cause confusion or anxiety in younger children who interpret language literally. Parents who choose to share simple, factual information often find it helps children build a sense of security during an uncertain time. It is also common for children to ask the same questions repeatedly; practitioners often suggest answering these questions calmly and consistently, as repetition is a natural way for a child to integrate new, difficult information.
2. Recognizing Diverse Expressions of Grief. Children rarely grieve in a linear fashion. While adults might expect outward sadness, children often oscillate between intense emotional outbursts and periods of seemingly normal play. This 'puddle jumping'—where a child dives into their grief and then quickly jumps back out to play—is a common developmental coping mechanism. Some families approach this by normalizing a wide range of feelings, including anger, relief, or even laughter. When children feel that their emotional expressions are accepted without judgment, they are often more likely to communicate their needs as they arise.