How to Interview a Nanny Who Gets Your Family

A guide to evaluating childcare candidates by focusing on communication, values, and your family's unique rhythm. HowTo: Family Edition: family how-tos that actually help.

1. Defining Your Family's Priorities. Before scheduling interviews, many families find it helpful to identify their non-negotiables versus their preferences. Are you looking for someone who prioritizes outdoor play, someone who adheres to a strict schedule, or someone who excels at creative play during downtime? Clearly articulating these priorities helps you frame questions that reveal how a candidate might handle specific, real-world scenarios. Consider discussing your family's approach to discipline and emotional regulation. Instead of asking if they are 'good with kids,' try asking how they have handled a toddler experiencing a tantrum in a public place or how they encourage siblings to share toys. Their responses can offer a window into their patience, empathy, and problem-solving style.
2. Structuring the Conversation. A successful interview often moves away from a standard Q&A format toward a dialogue about values. Some parents find success by presenting 'what-if' scenarios based on their child's current developmental stage. For example, asking how a candidate would handle a child who refuses to eat a meal or struggles with separation anxiety provides a more accurate picture than asking about their general experience. It is also beneficial to discuss the logistics of communication. Families often have different preferences for how they receive updates—whether through a daily log, text messages, or an end-of-day debrief. Clarifying these expectations early on ensures that both parties feel comfortable and informed as the relationship progresses.