Teaching Children to Stand Up for Others

Explore approaches for helping children develop the empathy and confidence needed to support peers who are being treated unfairly.

1. Cultivating Empathy as a Foundation. Before a child can effectively advocate for others, they must be able to identify when someone else is experiencing distress. Many parents focus on 'perspective-taking' exercises, such as asking, 'How do you think your friend felt when that happened?' during storytime or after a playground interaction. Research suggests that children who are encouraged to talk about their own emotions are better equipped to recognize the emotions of their peers. By normalizing conversations about feelings, you provide your child with the vocabulary necessary to identify unfair treatment when they see it.
2. Exploring Approaches to Intervention. Parents often discuss a variety of ways to intervene, as direct confrontation is not the only—or always the safest—option. Some families teach the 'three-step' method: checking in with the person being targeted, creating a distraction to shift the group dynamic, or seeking assistance from a trusted adult. It is helpful to discuss the trade-offs of these approaches. Direct intervention may be appropriate in some contexts but could escalate a situation in others. Role-playing different scenarios can help children build the confidence to choose the response that feels most comfortable for them in the moment.