How to Talk to Children About Distant Relatives

Strategies for helping children understand and maintain connections with family members who live far away or are rarely seen.

1. Building Familiarity Through Storytelling. Many parents find that children feel more connected to distant relatives when those individuals are woven into the family's daily narrative. Rather than waiting for a holiday or a video call, parents often share anecdotes about these relatives during meals or quiet moments. By describing a relative's personality, hobbies, or shared history, you provide the child with a mental framework to build a relationship upon. Some families utilize photo albums or digital slideshows to keep faces fresh. When children can associate a name with a specific memory—such as 'that is the cousin who loves to garden'—the relative becomes a real person rather than just a name mentioned occasionally.
2. Approaches to Virtual Connection. Technology offers various ways to sustain long-distance relationships, though families often approach this differently based on the child's age and temperament. Some parents prefer scheduled video calls, while others find that low-pressure interactions, such as sending a photo of a drawing or a quick voice note, feel less performative for the child. It is common for children to feel shy or disinterested during video calls, especially if they do not know the relative well. Parents who experience this often focus on low-stakes activities during the call, such as having the relative read a favorite book or show the child a pet, rather than expecting the child to carry on a conversation.