How to Help Your Child Deal with Being Nervous Before a Test

Practical strategies to help children manage test anxiety and build confidence before exams.

1. Understand What Test Anxiety Looks Like. Test anxiety can manifest differently in each child. Some children experience physical symptoms like stomachaches, headaches, or trouble sleeping the night before a test. Others might become unusually emotional, withdrawing from family or becoming more irritable than usual. Academic symptoms include mind blanking, difficulty concentrating while studying, or feeling overwhelmed by material they previously understood well. Recognizing these signs early helps you intervene before anxiety becomes overwhelming. Keep in mind that some nervousness is normal and can even enhance focus—the goal isn't to eliminate all anxiety, but to help your child manage it effectively.
2. Create a Supportive Study Environment. Many families find that establishing consistent study routines reduces test anxiety by making preparation feel more manageable. This might include setting up a dedicated homework space, breaking study sessions into shorter chunks with breaks, and helping your child organize their materials the night before. Some parents use techniques like the Pomodoro method—25 minutes of focused study followed by a 5-minute break. Others find that studying with background music or using visual aids like flashcards or mind maps helps their child feel more confident about the material. Avoid cramming or marathon study sessions, which often increase anxiety rather than improve retention. Instead, encourage regular review over several days or weeks leading up to the test.
3. Teach Practical Anxiety Management Techniques. Deep breathing exercises are among the most effective tools children can use both while studying and during the actual test. Teach your child to breathe in for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for six counts. Many children find this technique easy to remember and use discreetly. Progressive muscle relaxation—tensing and then releasing different muscle groups—can help children who carry anxiety physically. Start with their toes and work up to their head, having them tense each area for five seconds before releasing. Positive self-talk strategies can also be powerful. Help your child identify their worried thoughts ("I'm going to fail") and practice replacing them with more balanced ones ("I've studied hard and I'm prepared"). Some families create a list of encouraging phrases their child can mentally repeat before and during tests.
4. Focus on Preparation Rather Than Performance. Research suggests that children experience less test anxiety when families emphasize effort and preparation rather than grades or outcomes. Frame conversations around what your child has learned and how hard they've worked, rather than predictions about test results. Help your child set process goals ("I'll review my notes for 30 minutes each night this week") rather than outcome goals ("I need to get an A"). This approach gives them control over factors they can actually influence. If your child struggles with specific subjects, consider reaching out to their teacher for additional resources or clarification on concepts. Sometimes anxiety decreases simply when children feel more confident about the material itself.
5. Establish Healthy Pre-Test Routines. The night before and morning of a test can significantly impact your child's anxiety levels. Many families develop calming routines that include a nutritious dinner, limited screen time, and an earlier bedtime to ensure adequate sleep. On test days, prioritize a protein-rich breakfast and arrive at school with plenty of time to spare. Some children benefit from a few minutes of light physical activity—walking to school or doing jumping jacks—to release nervous energy. Pack everything your child needs the night before, including extra pencils, erasers, or a calculator if allowed. Having these details handled reduces morning stress and gives your child one less thing to worry about.
6. Know When Additional Support Might Help. If your child's test anxiety significantly interferes with their daily life, sleep, or academic performance despite consistent support at home, consider reaching out for additional help. School counselors often have specific training in helping students develop test-taking strategies and manage academic anxiety. Some children benefit from accommodations like extended time or a quiet testing environment. If you suspect your child might qualify for these supports, speak with their teacher or the school's special education coordinator about the evaluation process.