How to Set Up a Family Media Agreement

Create clear rules and expectations for screen time and device use that work for your entire family.

1. Start with a family discussion. Gather everyone together when you're not rushed or distracted. Ask each family member what they think about current screen time and device use in your home. Listen to concerns, wishes, and ideas from everyone, including younger children. This isn't the time to make decisions yet—just understand how everyone feels about technology in your family. Write down the main points people bring up so nothing gets forgotten.
2. Identify your family's values and goals. Talk about what matters most to your family. Do you value family dinner time without phones? Is homework completion a priority? Do you want to protect sleep? Think about what problems you're trying to solve—maybe kids are arguing about turn-taking on devices, or screens are interfering with bedtime. Write down your top 3-5 family values or goals related to technology use. These will guide your rules.
3. Set clear time limits and boundaries. Decide together on specific limits that match your family's values. Include weekday and weekend screen time limits, device-free zones (like bedrooms or dining room), and device-free times (like during meals or before bed). Be specific—instead of 'limited screen time,' say 'one hour of recreational screen time on school nights.' Also decide which activities count toward screen time limits and which don't, like homework or video calls with grandparents.
4. Create content and behavior guidelines. Establish rules about what content is appropriate for each age group and how family members should behave online and with devices. Include guidelines about sharing personal information, talking to strangers online, and what to do if they see something that makes them uncomfortable. Decide on consequences for breaking rules and make sure they're logical and enforceable. Also include positive expectations, like asking permission before downloading apps or telling a parent if something goes wrong online.
5. Write it down and make it official. Put your agreement in writing so everyone can refer back to it. Use simple, clear language that your youngest family members can understand. Include the rules you've agreed on, consequences for breaking them, and signatures from everyone in the family. Post it somewhere visible, like on the refrigerator. Consider having a 'trial period' of two weeks before making the agreement permanent, so you can adjust rules that aren't working well.
6. Plan regular check-ins. Schedule monthly family meetings to talk about how the media agreement is working. Ask what's going well and what needs to change. Kids grow and technology changes, so your agreement should evolve too. Use these check-ins to praise family members who are following the rules well and problem-solve any ongoing issues together. Keep the tone positive and collaborative rather than punitive.