How to Prepare a Toddler for a New Sibling

Help your toddler adjust to becoming a big brother or sister with these practical preparation strategies.

1. Start conversations early but not too early. Begin talking about the baby when your pregnancy becomes obvious to your toddler, usually around 6-7 months. Toddlers don't understand time well, so mentioning it too early can create anxiety. Use simple language like 'There's a baby growing in Mommy's belly' and let them feel the baby kick when it happens. Read age-appropriate books about becoming a big sibling together. Answer their questions honestly but simply.
2. Involve them in baby preparations. Let your toddler help choose baby items like clothes, blankets, or toys. Have them help set up the nursery by organizing diapers or putting stuffed animals in the crib. This gives them a sense of ownership and importance in the process. Take them shopping for baby supplies and let them pick out a special gift to give their new sibling. Consider having them help pack your hospital bag with a few baby items.
3. Practice new routines and independence. Start implementing any major changes at least 2-3 months before the baby arrives. If your toddler needs to move to a big kid bed or start potty training, do this well in advance so they don't associate the change with the baby taking their place. Practice having other caregivers put them to bed or handle their routines. Encourage independence with tasks like getting dressed, brushing teeth, or cleaning up toys.
4. Address their feelings and concerns. Validate any negative feelings your toddler expresses about the baby. It's normal for them to say things like 'I don't want the baby' or 'Send the baby back.' Acknowledge these feelings without dismissing them. Reassure them that you'll always love them and that they'll always be special to you. Avoid promises like 'nothing will change' because things will change, and broken promises can damage trust.
5. Create special big sibling privileges. Introduce new privileges that come with being the big sibling, such as a later bedtime, helping with baby care, or choosing the family movie. Make them feel important by giving them age-appropriate responsibilities like bringing you a clean diaper or singing to the baby. Plan special one-on-one time that they can look forward to even after the baby arrives.
6. Prepare for the hospital stay. Explain where you'll go when it's time for the baby to be born and who will take care of them. If possible, arrange for a familiar caregiver to stay with them. Pack a special bag with their favorite snacks, toys, and comfort items. Consider having them make a card or drawing to bring to the hospital to meet their new sibling. Plan a simple gift from the new baby to give to your toddler when they first meet.