How to Include Grandparents in Family Holidays

Learn practical ways to meaningfully involve grandparents in your family holiday celebrations, from planning to traditions.

1. Start Planning Early Together. Reach out to grandparents well before the holiday to discuss plans and preferences. Ask about their energy levels, dietary needs, and any mobility considerations. Include them in decision-making about timing, menu choices, and activities. If they live far away, discuss travel arrangements early or plan virtual participation options. This collaborative approach helps everyone feel invested in the celebration and ensures no important details are overlooked.
2. Create Meaningful Roles and Responsibilities. Give grandparents specific, valued roles in the holiday celebration. Ask them to share family stories, lead a traditional prayer or toast, or teach children family recipes or games. Consider having them bring a signature dish they're known for, or ask them to be in charge of a particular tradition like reading a holiday story. These roles make them feel essential to the celebration rather than just guests.
3. Adapt Traditions and Create New Ones. Blend old family traditions with new ones that include everyone. If grandparents have mobility limitations, bring activities to them rather than expecting them to move around constantly. Create photo opportunities, start a gratitude sharing circle, or establish a new tradition like having each generation contribute to a family time capsule. Be flexible and willing to modify existing traditions to accommodate everyone's needs.
4. Make Physical Spaces Comfortable. Prepare your home to be comfortable for grandparents. Set up a quiet space where they can rest if needed, ensure good lighting for reading or conversation, and have comfortable seating available. Keep pathways clear and consider their accessibility needs. If hosting at their home instead, offer to help with setup and cleanup so they can focus on enjoying time with family.
5. Facilitate Grandparent-Grandchild Connections. Create opportunities for grandparents and grandchildren to bond during the celebration. Set up activities they can do together like puzzles, crafts, or looking through photo albums. Encourage children to ask grandparents about their childhood holiday memories. For younger children, plan shorter, focused interaction times that match their attention spans. These connections often become the most treasured memories of the holiday.
6. Include Them When Distance is a Factor. When grandparents can't be physically present, use technology to include them meaningfully. Set up video calls during key moments like gift opening or the holiday meal. Send them photos and videos throughout the day. Mail them a care package beforehand with photos, homemade treats, or small gifts from the grandchildren. Consider having children create artwork or write letters to share during a video call.