How to Handle a Kid Whose Birthday Is Near a Major Holiday

Help your child feel special when their birthday falls close to Christmas, Halloween, or other major holidays.

1. Keep the celebrations separate. Treat your child's birthday as its own unique event, even if it's just days from a holiday. Use different decorations, wrapping paper, and traditions for each celebration. If your child's birthday is December 20th, celebrate it on December 20th with birthday-specific decorations and cake. Save the holiday celebrating for the actual holiday. This helps your child understand that their birthday matters just as much as any other child's birthday would.
2. Create special birthday traditions. Develop birthday traditions that have nothing to do with the nearby holiday. Maybe you always go out for a special breakfast on their birthday morning, or they get to choose a family activity that's just about them. One family might always visit a trampoline park on their December baby's birthday, while another might have a summer-themed birthday party in December. The key is making something that belongs only to their birthday.
3. Handle gifts thoughtfully. Never combine birthday and holiday gifts unless your child specifically asks for something expensive that makes sense as a joint gift. If you do combine gifts, make sure your child gets the same number of individual birthday presents they would get if their birthday was in July. Wrap birthday gifts in birthday paper and holiday gifts in holiday paper. Consider giving birthday gifts early in the day and holiday gifts at the normal holiday time.
4. Plan parties strategically. Schedule birthday parties well in advance and pick dates that work around holiday commitments. For December birthdays, consider having the party in early December or even January when families are less busy. Make the party invitation clearly about the birthday, not the holiday. If your child's birthday is near Halloween, you might throw a costume party, but focus on celebrating your child rather than just the spooky holiday.
5. Help extended family understand. Talk to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and family friends about keeping the celebrations separate. Explain that you want your child to feel their birthday is just as important as their siblings' or cousins' birthdays. Give them specific suggestions, like asking them to send a birthday card in addition to a holiday card, or to give birthday gifts separately from holiday gifts.
6. Address your child's feelings. Ask your child how they feel about their birthday timing and really listen to their concerns. Some kids love having a birthday near a holiday, while others feel cheated. If your child expresses frustration, acknowledge those feelings and work together on solutions. You might say, 'It sounds like you wish your birthday felt more special. What would help it feel that way to you?'