How to Talk to a Pediatrician About Developmental Concerns

Learn how to prepare for and have productive conversations with your child's doctor about developmental milestones and concerns.

1. Prepare Before Your Appointment. Write down your specific concerns before the visit. Note what you've observed, when you first noticed it, and how often it happens. Bring a list of your child's current abilities and any family history of developmental delays. If possible, take videos of behaviors that concern you - this gives your doctor valuable information they might not see during a brief office visit.
2. Be Specific About What You've Noticed. Instead of saying 'something seems off,' describe exactly what you see. For example: 'My 18-month-old doesn't point at things or wave bye-bye' or 'My 4-year-old has trouble following two-step directions.' Include when the behavior happens, how long it's been going on, and whether it's getting better, worse, or staying the same.
3. Ask Direct Questions. Don't wait for your doctor to bring up your concerns - speak up right away. Ask questions like: 'Should I be worried about this?' 'Is this typical for my child's age?' 'What should I watch for?' and 'What are our next steps?' If your doctor suggests waiting, ask what specific changes you should look for and when to follow up.
4. Discuss Next Steps Clearly. If your pediatrician recommends evaluation or early intervention services, ask for specific referrals and timelines. Find out what the evaluation process involves, how long it typically takes, and what happens afterward. Ask for written information or resources you can review at home.
5. Follow Up as Needed. If you're still concerned after your appointment, schedule a follow-up visit or call the office. Trust your instincts - you know your child best. If your concerns persist or worsen, it's always okay to seek a second opinion or ask for a referral to a developmental specialist.