How to Help a Child Manage Their Emotions

Learn practical strategies to teach your child healthy emotional regulation skills at every age.

1. Create a Safe Space for All Emotions. Let your child know that all feelings are acceptable, even if all behaviors aren't. When your child is upset, stay calm yourself and use a gentle voice. Say things like 'I can see you're really angry right now' or 'It looks like you're feeling frustrated.' Avoid dismissing their emotions with phrases like 'you're fine' or 'don't cry.' Instead, acknowledge what they're experiencing and let them know you're there to help them work through it.
2. Teach Emotion Words. Help your child build an emotional vocabulary by naming feelings as they happen. Start with basic words like happy, sad, mad, and scared, then gradually introduce more specific terms like disappointed, excited, worried, or proud. Read books about emotions together and point out facial expressions and body language. When you notice your child showing an emotion, say something like 'It seems like you might be feeling disappointed that playtime is over.'
3. Model Healthy Emotional Expression. Children learn more from what they see than what they're told. When you're feeling strong emotions, talk through your own coping strategies out loud. Say things like 'I'm feeling really stressed about this traffic, so I'm going to take some deep breaths' or 'I'm disappointed we can't go to the park today because of the rain, but we can find something fun to do inside instead.' Show them that adults have big feelings too, and demonstrate healthy ways to handle them.
4. Introduce Simple Coping Strategies. Teach your child concrete tools they can use when emotions feel overwhelming. Deep breathing is one of the most effective techniques - try having them smell a flower (breathe in slowly) and blow out a candle (breathe out slowly). Other helpful strategies include counting to ten, squeezing and releasing their fists, doing jumping jacks, or hugging a stuffed animal. Practice these techniques when your child is calm so they'll remember them during difficult moments.
5. Use Problem-Solving Together. Once your child has calmed down, help them think through what happened and what they could try differently next time. Ask open-ended questions like 'What do you think made you so angry?' or 'What could we do if this happens again?' Guide them toward solutions rather than giving all the answers yourself. This builds their confidence and helps them develop independent emotional regulation skills over time.
6. Establish Consistent Routines and Boundaries. Children manage emotions better when they know what to expect. Keep daily routines as predictable as possible, especially around meals, sleep, and transitions. When emotions run high, maintain your boundaries calmly and consistently. You might say 'I can see you're upset about bedtime, and it's still time to brush your teeth. Would you like to walk to the bathroom or hop like a bunny?' This acknowledges their feelings while keeping expectations clear.