How to Talk About Periods with Your Tween

A parent's guide to having open, age-appropriate conversations about menstruation with tweens.

1. Start the conversation early. Begin talking about periods before your child needs the information urgently. Most kids benefit from learning about menstruation by age 8 or 9, well before they might start their own period. This gives you time for multiple shorter conversations rather than one big talk. You can bring it up naturally when you see period products in the store, when it comes up in a movie, or when you're getting your own period supplies.
2. Use simple, clear language. Explain that a period is when the lining of the uterus sheds each month, which comes out as blood through the vagina. Use proper anatomical terms like uterus, vagina, and menstruation alongside simpler terms like period. Avoid euphemisms that might confuse your child. You can say something like: 'Every month, a girl's body prepares for the possibility of a baby by building up a soft lining in the uterus. When there's no baby, that lining comes out as blood, and that's called a period or menstruation.'
3. Address their concerns and questions. Let your child ask questions without judgment and answer honestly at their level. Common worries include whether periods hurt, how much blood there is, and if other people will know. Reassure them that periods are normal and that many people get them. Explain that while some people have cramps or discomfort, there are ways to feel better. Be honest that you don't know everything and that it's okay to look up answers together or ask a doctor.
4. Show them period products. Take your child to the store and show them different types of pads and tampons. Explain how each works and let them touch the products so they're familiar with them. You might say, 'Pads stick to your underwear to catch the blood, and tampons go inside the vagina.' For younger tweens, focus mainly on pads since they're easier to use at first. Consider getting a small supply to keep at home so they can see and handle them without pressure.
5. Prepare them practically. Help your child put together a small kit with a pad, extra underwear, and wipes that they can keep in their backpack. Teach them how to wrap and dispose of used products. Role-play what to do if they start their period at school, including who to ask for help. Make sure they know they can always come to you, and establish a code word or text if they need to communicate about their period discreetly.
6. Make it an ongoing conversation. Don't treat this as a one-time talk. Check in regularly about what they're thinking or if they have new questions. Share your own experiences when appropriate, including any challenges you faced. As they get older, you can discuss more complex topics like cycle tracking, different symptoms, and emotional changes that might happen during their cycle.