How to Teach Your Child to Shake Hands Properly

Learn how to teach children of all ages the essential social skill of shaking hands with confidence and good manners.

  1. The Basic Handshake Steps. Start by teaching the fundamental mechanics. Show your child how to extend their right hand with fingers together and thumb up. The web between their thumb and pointer finger should meet the other person's web. They should grip firmly but not squeeze hard - imagine holding a small bird that you don't want to hurt or let escape. The handshake should last about 2-3 seconds with 2-3 gentle up-and-down movements. Always make eye contact and smile during the handshake.
  2. When to Shake Hands. Help your child understand appropriate times to offer a handshake. These include meeting someone new, greeting adults like teachers or family friends, saying goodbye after a visit, and being introduced at social gatherings. Explain that handshakes are more common with adults than with other children, where a wave or 'hello' might be more natural. In formal situations like meeting a coach, interviewing for a school program, or attending religious services, handshakes show maturity and respect.
  3. Practice Makes Perfect. Regular practice helps children feel comfortable with handshakes. Start by practicing with family members at home during pretend introductions. Use roleplay scenarios like meeting a new neighbor or greeting grandparents. Practice in front of a mirror so your child can see their posture and facial expression. Create fun games where family members take turns being introduced to each other. Remember to practice the complete sequence: making eye contact, smiling, extending the hand, gripping appropriately, and saying something like 'Nice to meet you' or 'Hello.'
  4. Common Mistakes to Avoid. Watch for these typical handshake problems and gently correct them. A 'dead fish' handshake with no firmness makes a poor impression - practice finding the right grip strength together. Avoid the 'crusher' grip that squeezes too hard and can hurt the other person. Don't let your child look down or away during the handshake - eye contact is crucial. Prevent the awkward 'fingertip grab' by ensuring the whole hand makes contact. Finally, keep handshakes brief - holding on too long makes people uncomfortable.